Thursday, July 10, 2014

Remembering Rae And Moving On ...

Well, I'm back. My sincere apologies for this long absence. I've had a lot going on since I got out of the hospital the first time. Yes, that's right. The first time. I was back in the hospital for another 3 days from June 17-19th. Same symptoms and seemed as though things were not getting better. You can read the whole story, if you need to catch up, 2 posts ago.

The day after I was released I had a bombshell dropped on me. My very dear friend Raonna, or "Rae Rae" as many of us called her was in the hospital. I had received a message via Facebook from her loving husband Darrel that "she was in the hospital and that it did not look good." I was not clear on just what that mean at that moment but I started to panic just a little. I called Darrel and he gave me the info I needed. He had found her Sunday morning not breathing and unresponsive. They took her to the hospital here that had a level 1 trauma unit. They were able to determine that at some point Rae had suffered several strokes affecting both sides of her brain leaving her severely brain damaged. She was in a coma and on a ventilator. I was heartbroken. Just heartbroken. I went to the hospital the very next day to see her and support her family. I knew many of her her family members by photos and stories she would tell of everyone. Anyone standing still long enough would get a chance to meet her niece "Princess Vanessa" whom she absolutely adored with every fiber of who she was. That's the way she was. If you were family or a friend, she adored you with every fiber of who she was. She gave it all. You would also likely meet her dogs, Scrappy, Gizmo, Brittney and I am ashamed I cannot remember the name of their 4th dog who mostly lived outside. When I saw her a part of me knew she was already gone. That first day I was there it was nearing dinner time and the family had brought in dinner and went downstairs to share with everyone else. They asked me if I would be okay alone in the room with Rae. Of course I would. I pulled up a chair next to her bed, held her hand and just talked to her. I made sure to tell her it was okay to go. We all loved her and cared deeply for her but that this was her time and it was okay to go. I talked to her about my knitting. I apologized for the shawl I never finished for her. I talked to her about what was happening in my life and my own health. I had just talked to her while I was in the hospital just days before this. I just talked to her. I will always cherish the fact that I had that time with her. Rae always used to say if she were ever on a ventilator...pull the plug. She didn't want to live like that. Her family was, thankfully, all in agreement. She would be taken off the ventilator the next day as per her and her families wishes. I spoke with her husband and made sure he was okay with me contacting people I know who would want to know about Rae. He agreed. I spent that afternoon and evening on the phone calling and texting several people. I went to the hospital the next day, a Wednesday, and arrived 20 minutes after they took her off the ventilator. She was breathing on her own but it was very labored and we all prayed that it wouldn't be long. I told her again...it was okay to go. She passed peacefully surrounded by her family at 10:55pm that evening. I made more phone calls as soon as I was given the news. I was heartbroken. Just the other day I was emptying out my voicemail on my phone and came across the sweetest voicemail message from Rae. I will save it forever if just to hear her voice. I haven't written in a while...it was tough to. But I know Rae would want me to get back to my life as is. Which include blogging and sharing with you all whats happening in my knitting world. Rae always loved my knitting...she bragged about it. She used to tell everyone in her family about my knitting. She came to last years Albuquerque Fiber Fiesta to see my knitting entries and my Moms blue ribbon winner and best of show. It was awesome! So back to blogging I am.

I am still feeling tired most of the time and have some pleural effusion that I am dealing with. It causes shortness of breath and pain when I breathe. It is slowly getting better....slowly. I'll admit, I've been doing too much. Mondays are Stitch Group, Tuesdays are Knit Night and now that its Opera Season, Wednesdays nights are trips to Santa Fe for the Opera. Today is a down day for me. Tomorrow we are going to high tea tomorrow at the St. James here in Albuquerque. Next week I am going to bypass all but the Opera on Wednesday evening so that I can rest. I don't want to have another thoracentisis to drain fluid out of my lungs. I'd rather try to rest and heal on my own. The one thing I'm thrilled about is Dilshani is joining us this Opera Season! She had never been to the Opera but loves the Theater. So my Mom and I introduced her to Opera! Here are some pics from last night. The Opera was Don Pasquale and we cannot take pics during the show but the stage was cool! The clouds were amazing!



I have been knitting and finishing things!  I have finished the 3rd and 4th baby sweaters. I cannot share pics of the 4th one yet for certain reasons but soon I'll be able to! I did finish the green one. This is the one that is on its way to India. unfortunately the buttons I originally got from a lovely Etsy shop did not fit through the button holes so I had to get new ones. I am very happy with the new buttons I got! Here are the progress pics from beginning to end...


Ain't it just the sweetest thing! Here is a closeup of the new buttons...


I love them! They remind me of a lot of the arches in the beautiful architecture in India. And they are gold too! Well, not real gold but you know what I mean. The gifting of gold to a newborn is a common thing to do. I love these buttons and I hope the parents will too! I have been promised pictures of the little tike in his or her new green sweater as soon as possible. It is being sent to India along with a few dozen of the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever had! Lucky recipients if I do say so myself ;-)

I have been making progress on my socks too...or sock. I knit them one at a time. Here is a pic...


I love the colors in this yarn...just love it. I love how they are unfolding. My socks usually go kind of slow because I knit them in the car or when I need something small to take with me where ever I'm going.

I going to be getting back to designing here too.... I have many plans and ideas, I just need to start. I have a rectangular lace shawl I plan to do along with some more crescent shaped shawls. I just love them, they are so wearable. I haven't designed a rectangular shawl since the very first design I did, Tameron. So hopefully I'll be able to share some of that with you soon!

Audrey Grace has been very photogenic lately...I knew you'd love to see her!


Miss Audrey is doing wonderfully! She has been a great comfort to me during the past month.
 As for Rae Rae....you will be forever missed my friend and confidant. But we will all continue in our daily lives as it is what you would want us to do. As you always used to say to me..."I love you more than my luggage!"


Raonna "Rae Rae" Spradling
September 12, 1959 - June 25, 2014

2 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  2. I am glad you are picking up "the pieces" and moving forward with your life.
    Hugs.

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